Epic sports failures

My favorite part of gym class was always the whistle to leave. I hated exercise even from the time I was in kindergarten. Waiting for the steely sound of my teacher's whistle, I would fake involvement for an hour of every gym class of my life.
And while I have had some horrific athletic moments in my lifetime, they don't even come close to these gems:

See those? That is precisely why I play absolutely no sports, and why I am an expert spectator. I suppose I would have told the story about my gym teacher expelling me from golf in eighth grade or about bringing a marker with me to the second grade mile and cutting my time in half (yet still keeping it significantly longer than most other kid's times) or even about throwing the soccer ball at a car during a fourth grade soccer game, but in all honesty the moments in the clip above trump any of mine, so I think I will just let it be.
And there you have it, my attempt to be well-rounded individual and blog about sports: epic