If everyone were a doctor, then who would need them?

I was talking with this kid the other day and we were saying what we wanted to be when we grew up. He eluded to the fact that he wanted to be a doctor and I told him that doctor would never be my profession. "Why?" he sneered.

I told him that I didn't like dealing with sick people and that I really wasn't good in serious situations including death and such. I also said that science wasn't really something that I was interested in and told him that it just wouldn't be a way that I wanted to spend my life. He turned to me and told me that my aspirations were stupid.

"What?" I gawked at his bluntness. First of all, who says something like this? What right does he have to qualify my life aspirations anyway? So, trying to tolerate him and listen to his point of view, I asked him why he wanted to be a doctor. He responded something to the effect of, 'because I will make a lot of money'.

Yeah, that's right. Not because he genuinely wants to help people and not because he likes medicine, but because he wants to be rich. That, to me, was completely ridiculous. However, he continued to chalk it up in saying that becoming a doctor is the only noble profession.

Ok so I'm just saying that it's all well and good for him to want to play God in the future, but he doesn't have to act as though he is as important as God now, because quite frankly he is not. And furthermore, if we all followed the sentiment that doctor is the only job worth having, and we all became doctors, then who would need them anymore? We could all fix ourselves. So yeah, think about that, jerk.

AP-ness

This week is the week that we are supposed to sign up for classes, which is ridiculous to start with because this is January! Yeah, don't we have like six long months of school left to make these decisions, but whatever, I won't even get into that. My main problem came in that I had originally planned to take a lot of super easy classes next year because I will be a senior and it doesn't even matter, plus I don't plan to do any work.

Ok so anyway, with social studies, it is a problem because nobody would even explain to us what this AP Economics junk was, so we just asked Dr. W. She told us about it and that it was a year long, which was helpful I guess, but then it was retarded because I said that I wasn't going to take it in front of her. She turns me around in my lunchroom seat and proceeds to yell at me saying that it is my duty to the school to take that sort of junk; AP econ and AP lit, neither of which I was planning on taking. Anyway, she started screaming that she wouldn't write me college recommendations next year if I didn't take those two and that I would never be a national merit scholar without them.

She came all up and was like, we won't even write you a good college recommendation if you don't take them. Well guess what? If I don't want to take them now then I just won't do the work. Yeah, I plan to do a lot of easy classes and not even take a full schedule. Yeah, I'm going to Capri anyway, which you don't even have to graduate from high school to go to, to become an estatition and it will be tite.

Ok so all of this is so retarded to me and I almost like spit in her face or something. What right does she have to threaten me anyway? She can't even say that I will be a failure without taking these things, because quite frankly I just don't care. Yeah it's all retarded and I suppose that she must get some sort of kickback from the number of people taking AP classes or something, but really, in a year and a half or so I'm going to be peaceing out of Kennedy and it won't even be a big deal, so whatevs.

The blog song

So, I really am not a fan of blogging because it makes me feel like a creeper. I usually associate blogs with 40-year-old men who still bum around in their parents' basement and are destined to be losers for the rest of their lives. But, alas, I guess I have no option but to blog, so I will try and make the best of it, by singing. Here is a song that I just made up about blogging, to the tune of Mary had a Little Lamb:

Blogging i-is really fun
Really fun, really fun
Blogging i-is really fun
But it's creepy too
I write about no-o-thing
No-o-thing, no-o-thing
I write about no-o-thing
But still have an A

I can't write very much

Very much, very much

I can't write very much

'Cuz I don't have a brain
It makes the children laugh and play
Laugh and play
Laugh and play (yeah, I did steal that part directly from the song)
But it's still creepo

The end. That was my song and I hope you liked it. I couldn't really remember all of the words to Mary had a Little Lamb, so they syllables might be off and I don't know if I ended in the right spot, but I am really just okay with that, because it is surely a masterpiece. I mean seriously, Kanye West is already working on a version of this for his next album, not even kidding.

MLK Day

It was August 28, 1963 at the March on Washington that Martin Luther King, Jr., first said his fateful words, "I have a dream...

...that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.'
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together...
And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, 'Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!'"

The powerful words that were bestowed upon the nation on that day still linger. Each year on the third Monday of January, schools, federal offices, post offices and banks across the nation close. It is said to be a time for Americans to celebrate the birth, life, and dream of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. It should be a time for the nation to remember the injustices that Dr. King fought against; a time to remember his fight for the freedom, equality and dignity of all races and peoples; a time to remember his message of change through nonviolence.

However, as time has passed and the issue of racism is no longer as prominent as it was during the Civil Rights Movement, sadly Martin Luther King, Jr., Day has fallen into the category of historical holidays without much resonance. I suppose then, that I would just urge you to reevaluate your priorities today, do something for another person, and work on being tolerant, because it's all we can do to uphold Dr. King's legacy.

Doctors are gross

Ok so tonight I have to go to the doctor, which isn't really that big of a deal since I go to the doctor like every other day. But, I still hate it because I go to like a thousand different doctors because I'm just that unhealthy and all of them are jerks. Like I have this one that you can tell must have been bullied in his high school years and is resentful that I'm not or something because he is just weird and really bitter. And I'm really cordial and nice to him or whatever but he is just an ass all the time and I don't understand it.

Maybe he's nice in real life, I mean he seems a little like my dad in the sort of nerdy but cool type way. Yeah, maybe he's just a real dick when he has to see me because I'm a waste of his time or something.

Some people say that education makes you that way, really snobby and whatnot and having met him, I must say, I can see it. I wonder if education has made him that way, though, or if he was just a stunted kid and turned out mad about life and out to destroy everyone that isn't as miserable as him.

Ok, so in all honesty I know that this blog post isn't about anything, and my doctor isn't like The Simpsons' Dr. Mark Riviera or anything, but really I am just filling space. So for anyone who might still be reading you can probably gloss over all of this text because it will be more about nothing than you have previously experienced. I mean look at me, this paragraph is already four lines, oh make that five lines long and I have said absolutely nothing in it. Boy I hope that Mr. Ayers doesn't read this post because it is surely the most pointless one of all time, even more so than the one about the color blue, which by the way if you haven't read that one it is definitely the best of all time, so you should find it. It was only a few back and it's really short and a little less rambling than this one, except for it has a delightful video of the song I'm Blue. Yeah, it makes everyone smile so don't even resist it, really I'm serious just ditch this blog and move back to that one. But I guess, who am I kidding, my blog reaches a readership of approximately three people and they don't even read it because if they did I would probably make fun of them.

Wow, look how much I've typed in about three minutes, I think that's pretty neat because I need to type mostly a gillion words a week and it is really hard when I have nothing to talk about ever because pretty much I don't even have a brain, which is pretty evident in all of my posts.

Alright, so just a head's up, I'm about to type one hundred more words or so because I really need to meet my quota for t his week without actually having to generate a topic, so here goes. Hmm...well I guess I could say that my shoes right now are really pretty, like really pretty. They are blue with white polka dots on them and they have these tite bows on the front, I just really love them. Oh, and on another note, I just sneezed, which is really weird because I have sneezed like a thousand times in the past day, I wonder what is wrong with me, I mean besides the obvious. I wonder if anyone has ever sneezed so much that they have died. Oh, well, there I go again, sneezing and what not, because I'm sure it's a matter of public interest. Anyway, that would be really sad if my cause of death was because I sneezed too much, I think it would be really the saddest thing of my life, but at least it would give the people at my funeral something to laugh about. K tite bye.

Epic sports failures

My favorite part of gym class was always the whistle to leave. I hated exercise even from the time I was in kindergarten. Waiting for the steely sound of my teacher's whistle, I would fake involvement for an hour of every gym class of my life.
And while I have had some horrific athletic moments in my lifetime, they don't even come close to these gems:

See those? That is precisely why I play absolutely no sports, and why I am an expert spectator. I suppose I would have told the story about my gym teacher expelling me from golf in eighth grade or about bringing a marker with me to the second grade mile and cutting my time in half (yet still keeping it significantly longer than most other kid's times) or even about throwing the soccer ball at a car during a fourth grade soccer game, but in all honesty the moments in the clip above trump any of mine, so I think I will just let it be.
And there you have it, my attempt to be well-rounded individual and blog about sports: epic

Um like, let's waste our time

Sometimes I look around and wonder what on earth I am doing. It goes a little like, I sit down on my floor and start putzing with something stupid, and then I look up at the clock and realize that three hours have passed. It's kind of scary and hopefully not a serious problem or anything, but situations like these make me wonder whether I'm wasting my life. However, when I see people like this, I feel a little better, there are worse ways to wind up:

Now note, that originally I tried to put the link of the crazy lady that has like a zillion YouTube videos showing how to paint your own nails, but she must have anticipated my mockery and blocked me from embedding her video. But that's okay, because I will just link you to the most pointless two minutes of your life.
Yeah, so I guess what I have to say about this, is that people, in general have way too much time on their hands. This lady, apparently, has so little of a life that she sits in her apartment all day, inhaling paint fumes; great that should only make her more normal.
I suppose that I simply do not understand why she wastes her time making these weird videos. Here's a thought, why don't you spend your free time with real people rather than ones on the other end of a monitor. That the same way I feel about kids that read or play video games all the time; I like interacting with people that can talk back, not creepy fictional characters.
But whatever, I guess my wasted hours spent sitting on the floor of my room haven't been as pointless as crazy nail lady's, so that's a good sign.

Joe the Plumber, international peacekeeper

Joe the Plumber, aka the stupidest thing to come out of the 2008 presidential election, it has just broken, is going international! No, boys and girls, its not to fix the clogged toilets of the Gaza Strip, but rather to fix their ethnic differences.
Yeah, as stupid as this sounds, it's actually true; Joe the Plumber is bursting, excuse my pun, onto the scene of journalism. This indeed is a sad day; Christiane Amanpour is dropping dead as we speak, or sharpening her knife to stab Joe when he arrives in the Middle East, either one.

Now, for those of you that may think that Joe's only qualifications as a plumber, remove him from the ability to report serious journalism, look you were wrong. He is going over to preserve the peace, but don't worry, on his way out he will be as offensive as possible: in response to the question of how he will stay safe in the Middle East, he responded something to the effect of 'I am a Christian and God will protect me'. Oh right, that must be what all of those people in the Gaza Strip have been forgetting for all these years! I bet if he just tries to force his religion on them, all will work out well!

United Nations conundrum

In thinking about the conflict in the Gaza strip recently, a whole host of other questions have popped into my mind, mainly concerning the U.S. government and what we do to prevent and help with these types of difficulties.
My biggest question was regarding the United Nations. Although it seems like a war would be something that they would want to intervene in to help stop. But, no. Guess what, America won't do anything to help. They just don't want to get involved, they say, or some other bologna along those lines.
So, if the United States' position in the United Nations isn't to help suffering and conflicting nations, what is it? Nothing, because that's what I assume. I mean really, I have actually never heard of a report from the United Nations in New York City, or wherever they convene, like you do from Washington D.C. with Congress.
From what I have seen of pictures of the United Nations, I am able to paint a pretty clear picture in my own mind too: a giant building with a lecture hall-like layout, in which hundreds of old men just sit around snoring.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm asserting that I could do a better job at keeping the peace, and some of the programs that they spearhead are great; UNICEF has saved thousands of lives, but shouldn't we be able to expect more out of the world's greatest leaders.

While I would undoubtedly be awe-struck and unable to move in the presence of Nelson Mandela during a meeting, our other members should have gotten over that shell shock by now. It's time for them to buck up and keep moving. I mean seriously, what does and ambassador do when he's not at a United Nations session? I can only imagine that he wanders the streets of America aimlessly, looking for a lost cause, but not really doing anything.
Another problem that I have with the United Nations is that it employs the idea of national superpowers. Now, they can spin it any way that they want, but as long as you have five countries that make all of the ultimate decisions, it's kind of like they have total control. Plus, when one of them is as stupid and bad at making decisions as the United States has proved to be, it's a problem.
But hey, it's not that big of a deal; nobody is about to listen to my views on foreign policy or economic affairs, so why bother. The United Nations is undoubtedly bigger than me, bigger than the whole American body, and they probably aren't going to change. Whoops, sorry for the downer.

The crap that goes on in the Middle East

So I was watching CNN last night, which is always really frustrating because I actually have no grasp of what's going on in the world. To me, it's all puppies and marshmallows and sunshine, but in actuality it's really sad, which is a real downer. Anyway so they were talking about the conflict in Israel and Palestine, and it got me really flustered.
Every time I hear about the troubles in the Gaza Strip, it always upsets me. However, this isn't really because I'm a humanitarian or anything, it's primarily because it just reminds me of how little I know about history. I never know why they're fighting, or which part is Muslim and which is Jewish. And pretty much it is always really sad because there are so many problems going on there and I don't know about any of them, and then I have to go ask my dad what is going on and he looks at me like I'm a retard, most of the time.
But anyway, in talking with him I became even more confused, because the sort of nonsense that's going on there is just ridiculous. First off, I don't understand why the Jewish people even came to form Israel in the first place, I mean I know that they were all distraught after World War II and it was a really horrible situation for all of them, but honestly they don't fit in in the Middle East. Plus, why would you want to go to a place that is really ethnically diverse from you and where you won't be wanted? It's not like they can even validate it by saying that their ancestors came from there, because if they've been gone for hundreds of years, I don't think it counts anymore. And then, when they went to go form Israel or whatever, they just pushed out all of those Muslims, which was way jerky of them. Anyway, what did they think was going to come from that? Because the people of that region have a long track record of being understanding of other cultures? Yeah, not so much. So, here's a clip from CNN about how Isreal broke the ceasefire first:

Okay, but still it is really sad that the Palestinians think that they can just go ahead and set bombs and missiles and whatever off in Israel, just because they're upset. I mean, I think that I am able to sympathize with them a little bit, because when they were pushed out of Israel and into that tiny Gaza Strip or whatever, it sucked and their quality of living probably dropped a lot, which is something to be really mad about. But after all of these years, I guess the biggest question I have is, why are they still squabbling over nonsense?
I asked my dad why they didn't all just leave if they didn't like the Gaza Strip, which I guess to him just showed my ignorance. "I mean, here we just all move around and it's no big deal," I said. "If they don't like what's going on there, why don't they just leave?"
He looked at me for a long time, with that same 'you're a moron look on his face' and then he told me that the culture is different there and that America is a nation that was founded by loser immigrants who are perfectly willing to move around. But when you've lived somewhere for ten gazillion years, you're bound to be a little more set in your ways. But then, I still don't understand why the Jewish people don't just move, it's not like they've been there for all that long anyway. But I guess that's a question to ponder another day.