Freaks of the world, we're tite

I'm just going to come out and say it, I'm a freak. I mean, really there's no hiding it, but in qualification of this self accusation, I thought I would share some of my many anomalies.

1. I don't eat green candy...like, ever. Really, I hate any sort of green sweet, we're talking Jell-O, Skittles, suckers, Starburst, even M&M's; I really hate the taste of lemon lime, I guess, and even if things aren't that flavor, I assume that they are gross like that, so I just steer clear of them.
2. I get a fake boyfriend everywhere I go. In school, I have about three, for different classes of course. In Czech School, I have Isaac, also known as TeeYukYuk. At the hospital I had a kid from the cafeteria for a while, but then I switched jobs and I haven't seen him since, I think he went off to college or something. And finally, there is work where I have two boyfriends, they legitimately fight, it is really funny. But with all of these thugs hanging around me, I have no real boyfriend, because I obviously attract weirdos.
3. It is a habit of mine to purposely listen to a song so much that I begin to hate it and then legitimately cringe every time I hear it after that, I really have no idea why.
4. I don't invite people...anywhere. I seem to have some sort of irrational hate for having to be the one to instigate a get together, and quite honestly, I would rather do nothing than to have to call people and see if they want to do something.
5. I hate hanging around my family, but I love being at my house.
6. I like writing, but hate reading.
7. I attempt to make every situation sufficiently less awkward for other people by using great sarcasm to shift the attention away from other people. So, when things get awkward for someone else, I will throw in a stupid comment like, my rap album drops next week or tell a horribly embarrassing anecdote about my childhood. Yet, even with all of this making myself look like a fool, if someone catches me off guard or slightly insults anything about me, I get embarrassed really easily.
8. Drinking milk freaks me out because I view it as drinking cow pee or something, even though I know it has been pasteurized and everything. So I have to eat chocolate in order to make myself thirsty enough to stomach milk.
9. I am the only one that is allowed to sing in my car, my sisters are not allowed. However, I serenade them with my less than stellar abilities on a regular basis.
10. I am probably a pathological liar and a hypocrite, and I am really okay with that.
11. I am a stark anti-feminist and don't think that women should hold certain offices and occupational positions. I want to be June Cleaver and not some Hillary Clinton (basically hermaphrodite) clone.